If All Else Fails...

So, I haven't updated in a really long time and I'm sorry about that.  It is a combination of the fact that I really haven't had a good idea and the amount that I have been working lately (Go Radioshack).  But, I am trying to get back into the swing of it.  


Now, I am finally pretty sure about what I want to do when I get out of college.  I actually have another, serious post planned about that, but that's not what this is.  I am really happy with my decision thus far and am excited to get going with the coming school year.  That being said, I also have the habit of randomly deciding that I am actually going to have a completely different (and completely ridiculous) back-up career.  Now, most of this time this is a result of me either not wanting to do my homework and am whining or the fact that I don't feel like thinking about something that is stressing me out.  But, hey, some of these of really valid options:


Hideous Wallpaper Designer: So, whenever I am doodling/playing Draw Something I have a tendency to draw very elaborate wallpaper.  However, this is probably the most hideous wall paper that ever existed or will ever exist.  It's kind of painful.  So, naturally, I've decided that I am meant to design wallpaper.  Because hideous wallpaper has so many uses.  Don't want your guests to overstay their welcome?  Wallpaper your guest room in my obnoxious combination of colors.  Trying to get a criminal to confess?  Cover the interrogation room in my weird array of polka dots.  It's a good idea, trust me.


Circus performer: Ok, so I am completely not serious about this one.  This is my go to, I don't want to do my homework.  This can't actually happen in real life because a. I've never been to the circus b. I have no desire to go to the circus because of some animal rights issues that I'm not going to talk about right now and c. I have NO coordination.  So, it won't happen, but I enjoy saying it every once and a while.  


Children's Book Illustrator: This one has actually been jokingly suggested to me.  I feel like it would be very enjoyable.  I may not have any actual artistic skill, but I can doodle like no other!

Here's an example of my skill, haha

  I have even written/illustrated a picture book before for my biology class.  It was a story about biological warfare and featured giraffes as the main characters.  Apparently I "made biological warfare cute".  I'm not actually sure if that's a good thing, but I'll but it on my resume anyway.  


Chris 

A List That I Refuse to Call a Bucket List

So, I decided that something kind of fun would be for me to write a list of things I really want to do in my life.  I'd call it a bucket list, but that just seems too morbid.  So, here goes:

1. Write/Publish a book: I may have mentioned this before, but I really, really want the opportunity to call myself an author.  I have always wanted to write fiction, but really anything would be pretty cool.  
2. Walk on my hands (for more than a few seconds): This is a weird goal that I've had since I was little.  It may not be the most profound goal in the world, but you have to admit, it would be pretty cool.
3. Ride a horse, for an extended amount of time: When I was younger I went through a really horse-crazy phase.  And lets be honest, I never really got out of it.  I got the opportunity to ride one once, but it was for a pretty short time and we didn't get to do anything but walk.  Also, I was pretty young so my horse was tied to another one anyway.  I would love to be able to go faster or just ride for a longer amount of time. 
4. Get my black belt: Now, I view martial arts as way more than just achieving belt levels.  And it really doesn't matter what belt level I am, as long as I feel like I am really learning.  However, I feel like a black belt would be a really amazing achievement, provided I feel like I really deserve it by really understanding what I am doing.
5. Inspire people: I want to know that what I am doing will really affect people and hopefully help them.  I want to do this as a teacher, but I would also like to do this as a person.
6. Go back to Maine: I went to Maine on a school trip a couple of years ago and I really, really want to go back!  It was so beautiful there, and I have never found a place that I just truly loved being in so much.  
7. Make a Build-a-Bear: Ok, I know, not very profound.  Don't judge me, it's my list.  I always wanted to do this as a child and I never did....so yeah.
8. Go white water rafting: I feel like this is pretty understandable.  It would just be so cool!
9. Learn some type of dancing: I am not a very graceful person.  It would be a really amazing feeling to be able to do something that requires coordination.  (and hopeful with some type of skill behind it too)
10. Travel out of the country: I really feel like experiencing another country would be a really fulfilling experience.  I'm not really sure where, yet, but I just know that I would like to experience something different.

Alright, there's the ten that are coming to mind right now.  Some a little silly, some serious, and hopefully all will be checked off at some point.  

Thanks for reading,

Chris

Google is NOT the answer to Writer's Block!

Ok, so I've been a little bit bad at updating lately.  The problem is, I really feel like writing, I'm just a bit short on ideas right now.  Which I am sure I will get some more pretty soon, but for the moment I'm a little stuck.  It got to the point where I google image searched inspiration.  I don't know what exactly I was expecting to find....but it was pretty weird.  So I figured I'd share some of it with you guys-because it's kind of weird.   

I was not aware that Inspiration came in a can
but that would be convenient.

Umm, I don't know what this has to do with  inspiration,
but ok then.

Hmm....I don't really know what a moment is supposed
to smell like!

I really don't understand this.
And honestly, it kind creeps me out!

And then pretty much everything else looked like this.

Alright, so I know that that was kind of a cop-out as far as a blog post.  There should be a real one later today.  But this was sort of something fun to get out of my mental block.  And seriously, if anyone can explain that creepy bear picture to me, I would really appreciate it!

That's all,

Chris

Harry Potter!

So, I just read my friend Kaylyn's status which said that this time last year she was watching the final installment of Harry Potter.  And it caused me to think about how influential that series was and is to my life.  

I actually didn't get into the series until after I saw the first movie.  My Mom had recommended them a while before this but, for no reason other than elementary school brattiness, I didn't want to read a book I hadn't found for myself.  However, once I saw the movie I immediately to read the series.  I was delighted to find that the books were even better-by about a million percent!  This was about third grade.  I quickly read all of the books that were out, which was up to the Goblet of Fire at that point.  I absolutely fell in love with them. From then on, I went to every midnight release and usually ended up reading by flashlight most of the new book until I was too tired to comprehend anything.  I was glued to those books.  And I came to love the characters.  I'm not lying, I literally threw The Order of the Phoenix across the room sobbing because they killed Sirius Black.  And then picked it back up 10 minutes later because I had to know the end.  


I loved those midnight releases.  I would go with my dad, my friend Kelsey and her father.  Kelsey and I would stand there eagerly discussing the books and our Dads would come up with their own theories of how the series would end designed to mess with us.  I believe their favorite theory was that Harry would wake up from a dream to find he really was a muggle and Snape was the pedophile next door.  We used to get so mad at that one.  


I also watched every movie aside from the first one in theaters.  My whole family went to see the second movie, but because I was the only one who really had an interest, only my Dad and I saw from three on.  It became a sort of tradition for the two of us.  We would go see the movie, and he would patiently listen to me rambling about how the movie was and was not like the book.  It became one of my favorite parts of the summer.  


I pretty much fell in love with the characters.  Because they are real.  No one is all good or all bad and no one is perfect.  They are relatable.  If Hermione could be valued for being smart and loving knowledge than there was no reason for me to hide my love of books.  And if Ginny, the girl who started the series running from the room and hardly able to speak, could become a powerful witch and member of Dumbledoor's Army then I knew that I would be able to find my own power.  


The last Harry Potter movie came out the summer before I left for college.  And in a way that was perfect.  It was an end to my childhood in a way, and definitely the end of an era.  But Harry Potter will probably always influence me.  After all, "you start to think anything's possible if you've got enough nerve"


Chris

Just Because He's the Villain Doesn't Mean he has to be a Jerk!

Ok, so I just got home from spending a great evening with my boyfriend. We went hiking and then watched Avatar, which he turned me on to and I am starting in love.  However, during one of the episodes, I came to a realization about myself.  It was all because of this guy: 

http://img.poptower.com/pic-14407/zuko-avatar-last-airbender.jpg?d=600

So, for those of you who are like me, and are not all that familiar with the show, this is Zuko.  He is pretty much a jerk, most of the time and is generally trying to kidnap the protagonist and otherwise be a jerk.  Although, I think it is pretty debatable that he has his reasons.  

So, anyway, we're watching this show and Zuko does yet another cruel thing.  So, I do the only rational thing and start yelling at the screen, telling him how he really needs to be a good person.   Ok, it was rational in my mind.  Because the thing is, I just feel like he could be a really good guy if he put the effort in.   I just don't see him as a totally evil guy and I really want him to turn out to be secretly good, and get rid of that awful ponytail, but that's beside the point.  

The real point is that he's the bad guy.  I should probably be hating him, not lecturing the screen about how he needs to fulfill his potential as a good person.  But that's what I do, because I want him to be a good guy. This is much to the amusement of my boyfriend, who just laughs and reminds me that he is the villain so I shouldn't be that surprised if he does something "mean".  

But, that's kind of just who I am.  I am a super-idealistic person.  As long as you don't come at me with a chainsaw, I'll probably believe that you are a good person.  And yeah, I know that that's naive.  I have had multiple people tell me that I shouldn't trust or forgive certain people-even at times the people that I am "mistakenly" trusting have told me that I'm being naive.  But, honestly, I just prefer idealism over cynicism.  I'm not saying that I don't think that people will hurt me or other people.  I just think that most people have at least one side of them that is downright decent.  I just trust that when it's really necessary these people will choose to show this good side.  I think that we all have this good side.  And yeah, we probably all have a downright terrible side to.  We all have the capacity to hurt each other, but we also all have the capacity to choose not to.  And a lot of the times, that's what people will choose.  Maybe even Zuko.  

Anyway, that's all for now.  Just some idealistic ramblings to connect some of my thoughts.  

Bye guys, 

Chris

Books, Books, Books

For pretty much all of my childhood continuing up until now, I have really only had one thing that I have consistently loved to do.  And that is to read.  Books for me, were a way to visit all kinds of different worlds.    I would be bored in school as we reviewed something for the third or fourth time I would go get a book from the accelerated reader shelf and go off into the world of Holes or Anne of Green Gables.  Trust me, it was more interesting than whatever we were doing in class.  Now you would think that teachers were happy that I was interested in reading.  And for the most part, they were.  Except for pretty much every substitute teacher I have ever had.  I don't know why, maybe I just had bad luck with substitutes, but there were very few that I could stand.  

Part of the problem was that I read really fast.  We had our reading speed tested in eighth grade.  The program went up to 750 words per minute.  I either read that fast or slightly above it because the machine stopped and I was only reading slightly faster than normal.  So, in elementary school, I would regularly go through two to three books in a day (partly because most of the books that were in our classrooms were only 200-300 pages).  So, my regular teachers generally expected me to finish reading assignments way before anyone else and were unsurprised if I would put down my textbook after a few minutes and pull out Harry Potter or whatever else I had been reading that day.  On a side note, most of the later Harry Potter books were read by flashlight in the hours after the midnight release.  Those were finished especially fast because I was so excited to know the end, minus time taken to throw the book across the room crying because they killed off Sirius Black.  Anyway, my point is, substitute teachers were not so understanding.  I cannot tell you how many times I had to read something 10 to 20 times before I was finally allowed to say that I was done.  (It never occurred to me that I could just wait until other people were done, I would literally re-read the story over and over).  Also, there were a surprising amount of snide comments made about my reading habit.  I remember one particularly hated sub laughing at me because I was the last to line up for lunch because I was so caught up in whatever I was reading.  Jerk.

None of this in any way hindered my love of books.  I continued to read pretty much whatever I could get my hands on.  My family no longer leaves books lying around, because I will pick them up and read them in an hour and then know the ending before they do.  And not even just novels.  I would read my Dad's car magazines, and I read several chapters of a Sociology textbook that I found on our kitchen table one day.  

 I still read all the time.  I have long run out of space on my bookshelf and keep books everywhere.  I can still spend hours at the library. Because books just have this amazing power to them.  When you read something you are transported to an entirely new creation.  It can even be an entirely different world.  And yet, if it is well created, it is a place that has a lot of the real world in it.  A good story combines all of the magic and imagination and pure creation that we crave to escape this world for awhile with the most powerful emotions and realities to help us face the world when we come back down to it.  I will never stop marveling at the power that stories can have.  How is it possible that only words can create entire worlds, entire people that we feel as though we know?  I can never stop being impressed by that.

I have long wished that I could have that power.  I would love to be able to create characters that are real to people and to be able to use words to help people feel and think and make them want to create too.  I want to be able to to write real life that still has that element of the fantastical.  And I want to write books that are worth facing the wrath of substitute teachers who can't understand a reader when they meet one.  I don't know if I will ever be able to do this.  But until then, I will be happy to read and marvel at what other's create.  

Until next post, 

Chris

Don't Eat Any Paint

Hello everyone, 

So, I'm totally not able to sleep right now.  So, I'm going to tell you guys a story.  So, my last post I mentioned that my first step towards not being debilitatingly shy was a mission trip that I took with my church.  So, here's that story.  

Now, my church participates in this program called Group Workcamps.  This programs allows teens from all over the country to travel to underprivileged towns across America.  During the week that they are there the campers work to paint and repair houses, build wheelchair ramps and porches and otherwise help improve the homes of those who are either financially or physically unable to do it themselves.  Now, I had heard about this program for years and had always wanted to go.  I had begged my parents for years to let me go. Finally, the summer after my sophomore year they decided that I could go.  

Of course, at this point in my life, I was not exactly confident in my ability to work with people that I didn't know.  At workcamp you work in crews with complete strangers.  So naturally, I was terrified.  Add to this the fact that I had never painted a house or done any construction before and you have to wonder why I wanted to go in the first place.

I was terrified that it would end up being a repeat of the leadership conference.  I dreaded the thought of working with people from completely different states.  All I could picture was just watching everyone get along and work together while I was left mute and useless.  However, I am nothing if not stubborn.  I had begged to go, and no amount of sleepless nights beforehand were going to stop me from attending.  

So, I headed off with the rest of our group to Groton, Connecticut.  Tools packed with a note from my parents in my suitcase.  Complete with this advice courtesy of my dad: "Play nice with the other kids and don't eat any paint,"  Eating paint was the least of my worries, but I did my best to keep that in mind.  It was a pretty chaotic experience.  About 700 teenagers all milling around the crowded gym that first morning, trying to find their assigned crews.  I quickly lost sight of anyone I knew as I searched for my crew number.  Eventually, everyone found each other and we were soon bundled into vans and headed off towards our worksite.  We were responsible for painting the exterior and a few rooms inside of this gigantic two-story house.  

We were talking about how to divide up the work and the issue of ladders came up.  Obviously, in order to paint the second story there would need to be some significant work done on ladders.  They wanted to know who was comfortable with this.  There was one minor problem.  Almost everyone was afraid of heights.  I had never been on a ladder before, but I wasn't really afraid of heights, so I figured I would give it a try.  Honestly, I was desperate for anything that meant I could be useful.  I was terrified of not being able to actually help, and being useless as well as shy.  If I could do the ladder work, I would be useful and I would be involved enough that I might even be pulled into some conversations.  

And somehow, my plan worked.  We all had a common goal of finishing the house, and so it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to talk.  That's not to say that I wasn't the quietest person there.  It was a step, not a complete solution. But, it wasn't another leadership conference.  I was able to talk to people and actually make a difference with the work I was doing.  It was an amazing change.  

I remember one moment crystal clear.  I was painting the trim on the top of the house, 40 ft in the air.  I paused for a second to look out over all the rooftops and was just struck by how beautiful the view was, and how free I felt up so high in the air.  It was like I was above all of my fears.  It was an amazing feeling.

I really feel like this was the first step in putting my awful year behind me.  I was still shy after this trip, but it just wasn't the same incapacitating feeling.  I could handle it a little better now.  And I didn't eat any paint!

The end,

Chris