Friday, June 29, 2012

I'm here to kill your boredom!

So, I do a lot of weird things when I'm bored.  And I really don't care that they could technically be considered really weird, because they are really, really fun.  So, the next time you are complaining because you have nothing to do, here's a guide for entertaining yourself my way. 

Watch bad movies: Yes, there is something to be said about watching a good movie.  You know, something with a plotline that makes sense or whatever.  But personally, I think watching a bad movie wins, hands down, any time.  Now, I'm not just talking movies that you watch and "Hmm, that was kinda bad."  No, I am talking about movies that are so awful that they are fantastic.  Movies that you finish, and your only response can be, "What the fuck did I just watch" (That was for you Adam).  How do you find movies like this, you ask? Here's a hint, if the back cover says "based on the Belgian cult TV series" you probably found the right movie.  Here are three particularly terrible yet awesome movies. 
  • Rubber: Now this movie is kind of the epitome of "What is happening right now?"  Here's the basics you need to know.  This movie starts a tire with psychic mind powers.  And like any innanimate object gifted with power, it decides to use these powers to kill.  Specifically by exploding people's heads.  This movie, while probably being the sequal to Christine, you know, the creepy Stephen King movie about the killer car, also features the weirdest subplot in the history of subplots.  Because, while this tire is busy going on its murderous rampage and falling in love, there is an audience watching.  This audience watches the action through binoculars, and fights against the actors who are trying to kill them so that they don't have to finish the movie.  I swear, that was the best way I could explain it.  It also features on of the best lines ever:  "It's not the end, he's been reincarnated as a tricylcle!"
  • A Town Called Panic: So, I just watched this movie last night and I have to say, it might have been the best thing I have ever seen.  It is the stop-motion story of three plastic toys who go on a journey featuring a giant robot penguin, a parallel water universe, some weird pointy headed people, an adorable romance between two horses and lots of other wacky things that I don't know how they came up with.  I would seriously reccomend it!
Ride Elevators: I know, you're probably thinking about how dumb that sounds.  But don't laugh if you haven't tried it.  See one summer, my friend Catie and I were on a trip with our church together.  We had a half hour to kill in this hotel which happened to have about 35 floors.  This meant it had the best elevators in the world.  So, naturally, we spent that entire half hour riding the elevator.  If you are wondering how that possibly entertained us, here is a list we compiled entitled: "Things to do in an Elevator"

1. Spend over a half an hour at a time riding up and down and up and down and up and down.....

2. Play Go Fish, or any other card game (it really entertains other riders)

3. dance (esp. in a glass one)

4. ride sitting's really cool!

5. Jump up really quickly when the doors open so no one catches you sitting down

6. make friends, or complement people (people generally ask what you are doing if they've seen you about 12 times in the same elevator, you might as well be friendly)

7. Go on a rescue mission (even if they apparently don't need rescuing)

8. Accidentally shut a guys hand in the door (I don't reccomend this one, it's really scary!)

9. Apologize for the next 10 floors to the poor guy (although it apparently didn't hurt)

10. Kill time

11. Scope out each floor for possible hide and seek spots

It can be a really good time.  We also tried to see how it would feel to lie down while riding, but someone always caught us mid attempt. 

Go on an adventure: If I am bored, one of my go to plans is to go somewhere and explore.  I don't even really care where exactly I am exploring.  All you have to do is wander, and see if you can find something cool.  Now if you explore a neighborhood, there isn't quite as much you can find without tresspassing.  However, you can make friends with lots of adorable cats/dogs who might also be outside.  If you explore a park or other area with some quantity of nature, you can have a really good time.  On one occasion, I found a secret waterfall in the back of a park I had been going to since I was a child!  If you want to make this even more interesting, you can always bring a camera and take weird pictures.  I have killed probably over an hour exploring one of the dorms and taking picture of weird stuff written under the stairs, weird signs, ect.  Trust me, you can make it into a good time. 

Act like a child:  I am a big believer in that growing up is seriously overrated.  Now I understand the value of maturity when you are contemplating your future, working in a job or on your schoolwork, but if you are just trying to entertain yourself, why not act like a kid?  Playgrounds, tree-climbing and hide and seek are all really good ways to have a good time and get off of whatever you are sitting on to stare blankly at the wall. 

Try and accomplish a really trivial goal: We spend so much time trying to achieve our huge dreams of successful futures, however we choose to define them.  This means that we often don't have time to learn random useless skills.  For example, I have always wanted to learn to walk on my hands.  This means that for most of this school year, anytime I was bored I would start trying to do handstands.  I don't have scheduled practice times for this, I have way too many other things I have to worry about scheduling.  However, if I'm bored, time to handstand it up. 

There are so many things to do in the world, there is really no reason for anyone to be bored.  So get out there.  Paint the sidewalks purple, practice fainting dramatically, choreograph a swordfight, just don't waste time being bored.

Have fun,

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